i love nerdy jokes. they’re the best.
anyway. because of my weird ass dreams from last night/early this morning, undoubtedly due to the consumption of alcohol, marijuana, more alcohol, and a buttload of cereal and late night mexican food,
i’ve decided to compile a list of things that should be invented but have not really been, or haven’t been perfected yet. since in my dream, i was a mad scientist and i made a shit ton of money inventing useless things. hahah. sidenote: i wish to death that i invented silly bandz. ugh.
1. a hangover cure pill.
i know people swear by a combo of caffeine, aspirin, coconut water, fruit smoothies, bananas, pho, vitamins, etc. NO.
NO! i mean a pill, a simple pill, that you can take, and it will relieve your pounding headache, shaky post-alcohol tremor hands, and feelings of wanting to die. that would be awesome. like right now. haha.
2. an at home STD testing kit. with atleast 97% accuracy.
people tell me it’s invented. but why haven’t i seen it.
not that i need it. herpes free since ‘93!…
wait.. what? hahaha
3. air conditioner for that space behind your knees.
self explanatory. for those hot summer days you’re driving and that little gap is sweaty as fck and you wish you had an AC specifically for that little gap.
yes, that is exactly how i would advertise. lol.
4. a machine that alerted you to assholes.
kind of like that handy piece of equipment that alerts you to the presence of cops on the freeway.
except it’ll beep if you’re at a bar, talking to an asshole. could be disguised as a watch. maybe could work as a sort of lie detector. the possibilities are endless!
5. a language interpreter.
i think of this all the time because i work in a hospital where
everyone is mexican a lot of people don’t speak english, and it’d be nice if we had some sort of virtual captioning going on. like those old sing a long videos with the words scrolling on the bottom for the dumb ass kid that doesn’t know the words to jingle bells and a bouncing mickey head going over each word.
i was that dumb ass kid.
hahah. more ideas flowing, but work to do. only a few more hours til the weekend! unless you started on hump day. which i did. haha. happy friday everyone!